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Posted by: FenixL

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Original: 10/10/2004 8:40 AM
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Comments: 18
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Sunday, October 10, 2004

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::The Unbearable LIGHTNESS of BEING - An ALLEGORY of my life::
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That feeling of drag behind my nape,


I miss it.


And yet strangely I can't seem to remember how it felt like.


Just like how my fingers used to take on a life of it's own when the heat was unbearable and those darn tresses just HAD to go up. Moments later I try to re-work the process by feeling over the masterfully tight chignon.


I can't.


I just can't seem to remember how.


You must think I'm suffering from the "goldfish syndrome". (Sometimes I wish I do. No more discouragement or the depressing sense of inadequacy bought on by failed communications. No more, no more, no more... Wait. What did I just say?)


When you operate by rote, it's ingrained. The significance falls away only to be filled by a memory lapse.


Instinct.


As I can't even remember the countless times of sweet release toppled down my shoulders had caused a slight bob, pull and dip of my head. For I can't remember it because I've replaced it with memories of a brief and manageable coif.


I've replaced it with now.


I wonder in one's lifetime, how many memories fade?
And what have you replaced it with?


"I don't want to lose any memories.
Everything becomes more perfect in memories,
even the very painful things."

- Faye Wong on the movie 2046



 Posted 10/10/2004 8:40 AM - 60 Views - 24 eProps - 18 comments

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18 Comments

Visit Loongerdidu's Xanga Site!
Haha... I've replaced the memories of GOOD local fare for Taiwanese "strange" cuisine.

Yoyoyo your Steganography skills are rudimentary but I like the phrase tho.
Posted 10/10/2004 8:22 AM by Loongerdidu - reply

Visit m1ss_jad33's Xanga Site!
i swear your entries are so interesting.... you writing so in depth!
it sucks how memories fade!
Posted 10/10/2004 9:10 AM by m1ss_jad33 - reply

Visit MissMiniOinky's Xanga Site!
yeah girlie, thanks for droppin by my site too!
anyway, u look fab and sexy with ur blackky hair. Proppz to ya!
Posted 10/10/2004 8:41 PM by MissMiniOinky - reply

Visit Loongerdidu's Xanga Site!
"I like how inadequacy falls as memories fade."
Posted 10/11/2004 12:19 AM by Loongerdidu - reply

Visit FenixL's Xanga Site!
*Snorting through my nose*

Waaaahh... so smart ah? (You actually managed to "see" it) You're such a geekoid... so am I. Okok...We are such GEEKS!
Posted 10/11/2004 12:22 AM by FenixL - reply

Visit Rander's Xanga Site!
Sounds like certain memories fade to strengthen you confidence now. I like your site, its one I wish mine was like maybe in the future.

Carpe DM
Posted 10/11/2004 12:51 AM by Rander - reply

i tink in my lifetime, good memories stay n i simply forget about the bad....

i will miss my hair if i cut it...i have done it 2 times. snippin of long locks n i regret badly...so i dont think i will do it again.
Posted 10/11/2004 2:09 PM by anonymous - reply

Visit Ne0mesIs's Xanga Site!
"I wonder in one's lifetime, how many memories fade?"

perhaps, tat's the only way we learn to cherish.
Posted 10/11/2004 4:38 PM by Ne0mesIs - reply

Visit Loongerdidu's Xanga Site!
Too many. Countless in fact.

Aside from "I've replaced the memories of GOOD local fare for Taiwanese "strange" cuisine." It truly sucks. 'Cept for the Instant Beef Pot Noddles.

I've replaced Names of primary sch frens to secondary to JC to Uni to 1st job to 2nd job to now. I can't seem to remember names very well... Hahaha...
Posted 10/11/2004 10:01 PM by Loongerdidu - reply

u may disagree but memories to me r suppose to give a nice feeling...if they affect me n make me very depress, i'd rather forgo them...

yes!replace ur monday with next monday babe!!!we all live for tomorrow, not today or the past...i just look forward to being able to wake up every morning feelin healthy :D
Posted 10/11/2004 10:21 PM by anonymous - reply

Visit eetoo's Xanga Site!
To have "goldfish syndrome" is a no no... good and bad memories should carry in our life. We learn from bad experiences and bad memories remind us to be good and not to repeat the same mistake.

Good memories will cheerish our life. That's always good and bad, ying and yang to balance our life.

Without either one, it will like a missing part.
Posted 10/12/2004 1:00 AM by eetoo - reply

Visit violetile's Xanga Site!
i miss my hair too.
Posted 10/12/2004 1:08 AM by violetile - reply

Visit deneos's Xanga Site!
hey babe...very soon u will have ya hair back. U look good in short too.. In fact.. it's nice to have different hairstyle.. n going short is fresh!... coz almost all gals on the street have long hair.
But guess in a human mind.. the bad memories tend to leave a deeper impression.. while the good ones will slowly fade n b replace with even better ones...well i believed memories R memories.. even after many yrs ..they will always b in the back of ya brain.. U just need something to trigger them back. And at different phase of life.. some bad memories may even turn into good/funni ones when u look back.
Each and every one will b unique... we only can replace..they can't b erase/change. Juz like the Jim Carey movie :"Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind."...it's a meaningful show..though i'm not a fan of Jim Carey.
Unless u have the 'Butterfly effects'..=p
Posted 10/12/2004 3:26 PM by deneos - reply

Visit bodyglove's Xanga Site!
i don't think memories will ever fade for me; because its that, the memories, that keep me waking up every morning and make life worth living...
Posted 10/12/2004 3:40 PM by bodyglove - reply

Visit wenie's Xanga Site!
hey babe.. gah, i know the feeling. i've had long hair all my life. and hwen i decided to cut it for kicks some yrs back, i felt weird. I din know it too THAT long for my hair to all grow back. hahahaha.... gah. i sound silly. but yeah, i know better now.
Posted 10/12/2004 8:31 PM by wenie - reply

Visit Loongerdidu's Xanga Site!
Yippeediduuudaa, very soon now. Don't forget my food hamper and other stuff. Eh you can't bring chicken rice, laksa, hor fan right? HAHAHAHA wishful thinking lah.
Posted 10/13/2004 6:20 PM by Loongerdidu - reply

Visit R3alm's Xanga Site!
Hey galll.
Was at the supermarket that day when I spotted the 99% cocoa lindt chockkies!! and IMMEDIATELY thought of u! Didn't have the guts to try it, so i thought 'baby steps' and got the 75% one. The bitterness shoots right at you, but almost instantly is mellowed by a perfect balance of sweetness. Don't know if I can handle the 99% one though!! Haha!

Thought it was funny the way you notice the 'background' in my picture. Sometimes its the randomness of that which isn't in focus that tickles hey! Green tea is abt $1-$1.50 I think.. is that ex?

*hugs*
Posted 10/13/2004 6:26 PM by R3alm - reply

Visit eetoo's Xanga Site!
U right... when come to Goldfish syndrome, you have no choice. Btw, Author A is "Chang Xiao Xien" from HK. You know who she's?
Posted 10/14/2004 10:34 AM by eetoo - reply


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